As you may or may not know, I have serious issues with ugly footwear. Finding crumbs in the butter? Meh. Losing close friends in gang-related drive-bys? Whatever. Having my legs chewed off by a pack of rabid wolves? I'll walk it off... But put a pair of Crocs, sport sandals or Uggs in my line of vision? We have a serious problem.
I thought I had seen the worst of the worst when it came to shitty footwear. That is until today, when these ungodly things walked into my life. Toe shoes. MOTHERFUCKING TOE SHOES! As if toe socks weren't unbearable enough, now I'm forced to look at these sport sandal, water shoe, hiking boot, toe sock hybrids. Could someone please explain this phenomenon to me? Because, I. Do. Not. Get. It. Is it something against eyes? Did everyone that has bought these just lose a bet and now they're forced to wear them in public because their friends made them? Or do they just hate getting laid?
Please help me understand.
-Eric Pause
P.S. The website says they're "An intelligent way to deepen your connection with your natural surroundings." Ha ha ha! ¶ 3:40 PM
