Hey America,
Either you go out and vote for Barack today, or we're not friends anymore. I'll forget all the mean things you've done these past couple years if you just do this one thing for me. I mean it. I'm really not joking around here. I'd do it myself, but get a load of this absolutely insane rule I just recently found out after crossing the border this morning to cast my vote: Apparently, not being an American is reason enough for them to stop me from voting. I know! Absolutely ridiculous. Lousy fat cats.
Now go do your part, or lose me forever.
-Eric Pause ¶ 9:32 AM
